Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
