Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
