I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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