i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
