If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
