i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize