I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
