So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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