Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
