the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
vagina is talking i cant
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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