i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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