I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
