Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
