Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
