When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize