'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
