do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
