The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
