I don't remember. Are we still dating?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
