they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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