next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
