Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Operation Purity has been aborted
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
