Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
