I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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