just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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