oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
