Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
