how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
