Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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