I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
