you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
