oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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