I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
