now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
