just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize