why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize