Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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