He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
