come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize