He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You need a sexual gate keeper
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
