Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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