Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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