with your own penis?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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