VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
