She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
