i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
