A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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