she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
