I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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