please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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