I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's always time for handjobs
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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