a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
