if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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