Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
