We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you had me at cake vodka
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
