The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
