Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
