So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
