I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
that is very illegal...i love you.
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