Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize