Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
