I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
